In addition to the more obvious healing issues, there are also triggers that arise from eating certain foods that are phallic such as a bananas, ice cream or lollipops. I needed to maintain the control that was taken during the oral rape and I found myself feeling very guarded about what I put in my mouth. Although others may not be able to understand, it is of course possible to be forced to perform oral sex. While I was fortunate to have an incredible support system, they sometimes seemed to require an explanation as to how this could occur, which just exacerbated my shame.
This made discussing it very difficult and compounded the shame I felt.Īnother issue is the misconception of how one can be forced to perform oral sex. It is often the topic of many jokes, but it is not typically a conversation for “polite” company. First, there is general embarrassment that comes from discussing oral sex. The challenge in healing stems from a variety of issues.
This participation brings on a level of shame that can often feel unbearable. While we know we didn’t want it, we still see ourselves doing it, even though it wasn’t a consensual act. Unlike vaginal rape, it can be difficult coming to terms with feeling like an active participant in the abuse. One of the most challenging aspects of my rape was being forced to perform oral sex on my rapist.
